As a gay black man, it is not uncommon for me to be in spaces where people refer to themselves as activists and/or advocates. To be clear, I come in contact with people–in real life and on social media–who are doing meaningful work towards ending one or several forms of injustice very often. Unfortunately, just as often, I run into individuals who are peddling respectability politics and calling it activism. These individuals often claim to be tired of “negative” stereotypes regarding demographics to which the belong and are out to eradicate them by any means necessary. However, what often ends up happening is that these “advocates” stigmatize individuals in the very marginalized groups that they are supposed to be working on behalf of.
Recently, in a facebook group for transgendered individuals and supporters that I am a member of, there was a young trans woman who posted a detailed account of how she had to inform a blogger how sleeping with trans women in secret did not make him an ally and how this behavior contributed to self esteem issues within the community . On these points, I TOTALLY agreed with her. However, here is where she lost me. She chided the man for “promoting prostitution” among trans women(implying that there is something inherently wrong with sex work), suggesting that all trans women were “sluts” (implying that engaging in sex in any other way outside of a monogamous relationship is bad) and for wanting these women to perform “dirty deeds” on him(implying that being sexual was immoral). When questioned about why she said those thing, the young lady said that she was tired of all trans women being expected to sex workers. Let me say this. I am not transgendered so I do not understand what that must be like from her perspective and I do agree that it is unfair to box people in. HOWEVER, what I also thought was unfair was for her to–whether it was her intent or not–to shame trans women who engage in sex work. It is highly unfortunate that women in the transgendered community are disproportionately forced, by others, into prostitution. However, every sex worker does not have the same story. I mean how unfair is it to tell a transgendered woman who moves to a location where prostitution is legal, pays her taxes and does it all on her own volition that she is “diminishing the images” of her community? Also, sex work includes adult film stars, internet personalities and some exotic dancers as well. What does it say to these women when they here people paint the work that they do as a pathology?
Every marginalized community has elements that some members, in an effort to gain acceptance from the mainstream, seek to silence or change. However, what those of us engaged in community work have to realize is that by being more concerned with outer gaze than the well being of our brothers and sisters, we do a horrible disservice. You do no good going into an inner city school as a “mentor” if you go shaming single parent homes and “ghetto” names. You do no good to LGBT youth if you promote compliance with rigid gender roles. You do no good to a group of teenage girls–when their is a good chance some of them are sexually active–if you go promoting notions of “chastity”. Respectability politics do nothing but alienate and/or damage people that could have and should have been embraced and nurtured.
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